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Recently, Janice attended the 2021 Colloquium on Global Diversity in Washington D.C., hosted by United States based Corporate Women Directors International (CWDI). Her general comment is “Exciting, informative and diverse views from attendees on the future of the workforce.”

More from Janice:

Some of the questions asked include:
· What the Re-Set Economy and Workplace Will Look Like?
· Where Did Consumers Go During the Pandemic?
· Is Care Work a Corporate Responsibility?

Just learned from the new report CWDI released that women CEOs make a difference by including more women on boards and in Senior management. It is a survey of nearly 3,000 companies in 55 countries.

CWDI Chair Irene Natividad said ‘Still too few women have reached the CEO level of the largest corporations in each country. But what is clear is that women at the top are a plus for women whether the company is headquartered in Bangkok, London, Nairobi or California. Increasing gender diversity on the Board and in senior management may not have been a primary goal when these women became CEO’s, but it is nonetheless their impact.”

Our workforce is in the middle of a transformation with a major impact on women!

It began with a conversation around the kitchen table where my husband, Rick, our Rector and I sat discussing the imminent departure of a parishioner for his first year of seminary education. Somewhere along the way, I blurted out that this was exactly what I’d love to be doing, given the chance, voicing what had been rumbling around in my subconscious for a long time…..and the rest is history. That call was answered many years later when I was ordained a priest in the Episcopal Church. I have served in several churches since that wonderful day. Now retired, I continue to help when needed in our parish.

The passage from white, middle-aged, married-with-children-and-spouse woman to ordained female priest was fraught with crises of self-confidence, some therapy, several moves because of my husband’s work, (necessitating changes in diocesan jurisdictions) and the challenge of negotiating a system that was still uncomfortable with the idea of women, especially older women, serving in ordained capacities in the Episcopal Church, both at the parish and diocesan level. There were expectations of how a female priest should function that differed widely from my own sense of how God would use me. The Church at large seemed to be seeking executive, CEO types, with assertive personalities and breezy self-confidence. I, on the other hand, felt called to a ministry that also included pastoral and teaching functions in the service of a congregation’s spiritual development. These qualities are not mutually exclusive, but felt so at that time.

I have been blessed with wonderful male and female colleagues, and have been given many opportunities to practice the ministry envisioned way back in my seminary days when the prospect of ordination seemed remote indeed. Thus, by God’s grace has my life been blessed.

~ Judith Roberts

I have worked mainly in two professions, both which I loved. During my education to complete my social work degree, I had many people tell me I would not be able to find a job without going on for a master’s degree. I had a job before I graduated in my field and never was unemployed after that. I knew myself well enough to know that I did not want to do therapy, supervise or sit behind a desk – jobs that require an advanced degree in social work. I just wanted to be out in the field. Along the way, I felt called to ordination in the Episcopal church. My role model was a Deacon in Ann Arbor, Michigan who had been instrumental in starting a homeless shelter/breakfast program. During my discernment process to ordination, I was asked many times why I wasn’t considering the priesthood (I was young enough). Again, I knew myself well enough to answer that I had a profession I loved and felt the diaconate (a servant ministry) was right for me. Even before ordination (which includes five years of study, two field placements and one unit of clinical pastoral education in a hospital) I started a new profession as a hospice chaplain. I felt, in both cases, I was getting unwanted, unsolicited advice about career choices I made that a man wouldn’t have gotten. Being “in charge” or in a supervisory role at a job was never important to me, I know that about myself – I just wanted to be a “worker”.

~ Joyce Treppa, Deacon
St. Mark’s Episcopal Church

When I was a seminary student, a member of my lay supervisory committee wrote in his semester’s-end review that I had, after serving at the altar, preaching, leading Bible studies and facilitating retreats for several months, “good potential for leadership.” Talk about damning with faint praise! Before submitting the review, the rector asked the committee member for more information. From their discussion, she learned that he had a very precise view of leadership: a leader had a loud voice and commanded attention, a leader was a prominent presence that was felt even during coffee-hour socializing. The committee member was looking only for traditional “leader/follower” interactions, not the mutual, collaborative leadership that was more my style. As an elementary-school educator and mother, as scout leader, and community educator, and there as a clergy-member-in-training, my leadership style served to guide, nurture and empower those under my care to develop to their fullest potential. If there had been an emergency situation, I have proven I can use my “playground voice” to calmly and efficiently shepherd a crowd to safety. However, there was no emergency to showcase my response, and my nurturing style of leadership was not, in my reviewer’s opinion, “real” leadership, He allowed that I had “potential” to develop into the kind of leader he envisioned.
At about the same time, an acquaintance with a background in theater recommended voice training, and offered their help. Thinking we’d work on my flat, midwestern vowels, I agreed. His assessment was, however, that my voice was too “breathy” and too “girly.” We met only once more before I chose to decline further assistance.

I took both mens’ assessments under consideration. Perhaps their observations were accurate. The following semester I took every opportunity to call the congregation to attention, even if only to open a meeting or meal in prayer. I focused more on my breathing and inflection when I spoke, and even attempted to speak in a lower register. Throughout that next semester I struggled with the uncomfortable feeling that my voice and leadership style were considered inferior because they were both too “female.”

I am now completing my fifth year of ordained ministry serving as associate rector for a large and busy parish. I serve at the altar celebrating and preaching. I lead Bible studies, facilitate retreats, and participate gladly in all the other duties and privileges that comprise the role of priest. I most often employ a collaborative approach, but use leader/follower style and direct instruction when needed. I do speak in a higher register than some of my male colleagues, (which can be helpful to many people who have some hearing impairment.) I am a priest, and I am female, and I am comfortable with that.

Now, equity in salary and opportunity across the Church… that is another day’s discussion.

~ Maggie Sullivan, Associate Director
St. Mark’s Episcopal Church

I recently reflected on what influences and reinforces my values, thinking and actions. For me one of those aides or influencers is my faith!

Stilettos and Sneakers wants to share the experiences from women of all generations and professions. The conversation is often on how women deal with the common challenges of self-confidence, leadership styles and the expectations of others.

I asked three women, two ordained Episcopal priests and one Deacon, all of different generations to reflect and share their experiences as women in the church. I know I have been impacted by their sermons, one on one ministry and retreats. Journey with these women as they share their experiences within the church confronting what all women have faced.

~ Janice Zarro

I have to share that I recently attended a terrific session on Being A Leader-A Breakthrough in Leadership Development taught by Cookie Boudreaux of Mark Kamin, Inc.

Tidbits of wisdom and extraordinary useful guidance filled the time that passed too quickly.

Ms. Boudreaux began by clarifying the distinction between management and leadership. She defined management as taking something or an idea to reality. Leadership she defined as asking key questions and going beyond what is safe. She said her time and remarks would be on leadership.

What resonated most for me was two components of what Ms. Boudreaux described as the foundational elements of leaders and leadership. These two elements we touched on in our personal stories on the Stilettos and Sneakers website. Those two elements are:
(1) Being a person of integrity
(2) Being authentic

Lean In: Women, Work and The Will to Lead by Sheryl Sandberg introduced baby boomers, millennials, and every generation of women to the concept of the importance of being authentic. However, integrity as a part of leadership caught my interest. I never really thought much about integrity other than meaning being a moral or ethical person.

• Integrity was defined as honoring one’s word.
• Doing what you said you would do and doing it on time
• Doing what is expected of you
• Willing to be held accountable

When integrity is defined like this, I have to ask myself do I have integrity consistently in my professional life? What about that accountability meter?
This was well worth my time with a session providing much information to process and ponder!

~ Janice Zarro

Great interview with fashion designer and baby boomer Diane Von Furstenberg (DVF) in the Wall Street Journal’s “Men’s Style” magazine Spring 2021. Yes, you read the site correctly!

She feels her legacy is that she made women confident.

Her response to a question fits the message and texture of Stilettos and Sneakers. It resonates with this baby boomer and maybe you.

She was asked the question: “Any advice on living well?”

The answer from DVF: “…I really discovered that the secret of life is owning it. You own your imperfections; they become your assets. You own your vulnerability; it becomes your strength. And so it is really about being in charge of yourself and making a commitment to yourself to be the best you can be.”

Her newest book is Own It: The Secret to Life. I can’t wait to read it!

~ Janice Zarro

Vulnerability and trust are two words popping up everywhere in my life!

For this baby boomer and I suspect for many millennials, these words mean different things and elicit opposite emotional reactions.

Superstar Dr. Brene Brown (brenebrown.com) tackles vulnerability in her numerous books including my favorite “Dare to Lead.” Her TED talk “The Power of Vulnerability” is widely acclaimed and one of the most viewed. She casts her vulnerability net wide to businesses, non-profits, the military, and everyone with whom she consults. I even heard a Sunday sermon in an Episcopal church where her name and views on vulnerability were quoted, just like scripture!

To this female baby boomer, vulnerability meant weakness. The message for many women of my generation, especially in pre-dominantly male professions, was tough! Keep your feelings and emotions in a business setting to yourself. Stick to the facts! As I said in our website commentary on self-confidence, early in my career, faking it was a survival mechanism to project self-confidence. Looking back, what may also have been sacrificed was the ability to take a risk and show the courage to be vulnerable.

I believed if you showed or expressed your vulnerability a lethal punch or cut might soon follow from a colleague or co-worker or whomever. Dr. Brown, however, dives deep and is brilliantly effective in describing the six myths of vulnerability in “Dare to Lead.” (Check them out p.23) She cites “Myth # 1: Vulnerability is weakness.”

In summary, Dr. Brown says “…Choosing to own our vulnerability and do it consciously means learning how to rumble with this emotion and understand how it drives our thinking and behavior so we can stay aligned with our values and live in our integrity.”

Dr. Brown also makes the case that “We need to trust to be vulnerable and we need to be vulnerable in order to build trust.” She makes the point that trust is “layering of small moments” and grows over time. Wow! Small, layering, and slow are not concepts that fit into my go-go career years or even fit my personality. Meeting goals, objectives, winning and increasing the bottom line was always the focus for me. It was Dr. Brown, however, that first put vulnerability and trust center stage for me to re-think, reflect and re-imagine the meaning of these words.

I have always been interested in trends and the future of the workforce. Especially how leadership and management will change and the impact on women.

So, I eagerly dove into reading “The Adaptation Advantage” by Heather McGowan and Chris Shipley (heathermcgowan.com and cshipley.com)which astutely addresses the future of work. Much to my surprise was a chapter titled “Leading in Continuous Change: Modeling Vulnerability… Providing the Psychological Safety that Builds Trusting Teams.” There are those words again-vulnerability and trust. These concepts are front and center as key characteristics of leadership in the workplace of the future. Ms. McGowen and Ms. Shipley quote Dr. Brene Brown making the point that “Vulnerability and trust are not new ideas, but they take on new meaning when accelerated change enters the scene.” As they press on with their premise that adaptation is critical to the workforce of the future, vulnerability and trust by leaders, management and employees will be critical leadership traits for survival and success.

Two years ago, my life changed in an instant. My husband, friend, and partner of 42 years died. Being a widow for me was beyond difficult and I was doing poorly. I decided to get professional help. During a session, I was asked “Why do you have such difficulty showing vulnerability?” OMG, there was that word again. I was advised to seek out those folks in my life I could trust and show my vulnerability. I was advised this would help me through the grieving process.

I confess I am conflicted when I watch millennial women demonstrate vulnerability and express the expectation of trust from others, especially in the workplace. On one hand, I have great admiration for them and see this as a trait of courage and risk-taking so early in their professional careers. Then I think, “oh yea just wait until you get gut-punched and you are called too emotional and that you shared too much information.” I fear they will not be rewarded or promoted but punished.

Vulnerability and trust will just keep popping up in my life and maybe yours as well! So, let us re-think what these words mean to baby boomers and millennials and really women of all generations.